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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?